the college grind.

Look folks, I get it. You’re a loving parent. You love your kid. You want them to succeed. You want them to thrive. You want them to be happy. You want them to grow into happy, successful young adults.

You’d love for them to do well in school. You don’t want to see them struggler, falter. You’ve supported them, you’ve helped them build structure in their lives. You’ve helped them remember deadlines, appointments. You’ve helped them with their homework, you’ve edited their essays. You’ve got them this far. And now you want to hire an ADHD coach to help them learn how to build this structure for themselves.

So, walk with me. Imagine you’re hiring your kid a tutor. You see that your kid needs a tutor. Maybe they’re struggling in school. But your KID does NOT see that THEY need a tutor. They didn’t come up to and tell you, “Dad, I need a tutor.” (Or maybe they did—if that’s the case, certainly listen.)

So, you asked your kid if they would like extra help in XYZ subject from a tutor. Maybe, abjectly, they think they do. “Sure, that sounds good.” “Yes, I could see that being helpful.”

But LISTEN. Nine times out of ten, your kid DOES NOT WANT THAT TUTOR. They don’t want to spend an hour of their lives once a week working on the subject they loathe the most. They don’t WANT the extra math problems. They don’t WANT to learn the grammar. They DON’T. WANT. IT. They would rather be relaxing, hanging out with their friends, playing video games, scrolling TikTok, and whatever else the youths do these days. Nine times out of ten, *especially if your teenager is an ADHD Girl*, your kid is being a MIRROR for what YOU want for them. Because they want you to love and accept them and they think this is what you want, so this is what they need to do to continue to be loved and accepted by you.

Let’s try another vantage point. Imagine you haul yourself to work with a personal trainer. But you don’t want to be there. You have no concrete “why” for hiring a trainer. Can you see yourself sticking it out for very long?

Probably not.

It’s perfectly okay—great, even! To hire an ADHD coach for your teenager. It absolutely is. But folks, your teenager has to want it themselves.

You wouldn’t hire a coach for yourself if YOU didn’t want to create insightful changes in your life. You wouldn’t hire a coach if YOU didn’t want to build self-awareness and to figure out your brain with someone you trust, and to build strategies and perspectives in your life that work for you.

I’m not saying that your kid needs to be on the same level of awareness, emotional maturity, etc. as you. I’m just saying—your kid has to want this. Like, REALLY want this.

If your teenager is able to tell you WHY they want to work with a coach, and they aren’t regurgitating your own words from their mouth… You’ve got the green light.

It’s okay if they don’t have exact, specific details on their why. They just need to have a why that’s their own.

xoxo,

Tina